Sunday, August 1, 2010

Spiritual Bandida

I find myself in a challenging situation after loosing my job due to a building fire.
Being unemployed is looked down upon because you are a) not contributing to society b) not contributing to your family and c) making some people feel uneasy because you do not fit neatly into a category of employment.

Many people enjoy people placing then making their own assumptions and judgements based on your field of work. For example, as a whole, gangsters are considered law-breakers; policeman are thought of as law abiding; singers are classified as artists while sales people are said to be pushy and cut-throat.

People placing comes naturally to many an individual, an oddity passed on from parent to offspring, generation after the next. As children, we learn about different professions and are encouraged to follow the promising career path we chose after high school or post-secondary education.

For me however, this career path hasn't been as square-shooting as previously foreseen. Perhaps this is a result of my taking pleasure in trying new things, testing my limits and living life on a whim. Perhaps. Relishing in world of unbound, free and limitless actions has allotted plenty of time to roam and explore.

My typical stint with a job, place, and/or relationship would last no longer than twelve months. With little thought for the future, I would leave without any sad goodbyes or regrets. Like a sailor setting sail, a pirate pillaging loot, a bandit taking unfair advantage of others, or an outlaw who refuses to be governed by the established rules, I left. I thought only of yours truly and what I needed to be happy. I ran away from unhappiness and traumas in hopes of a new beginning. In spite of leaving, things stayed the same. My problems keep coming back. Wherever I went, I was there. One of my favorite Pharcyde songs lyrically epitomizes this situation, "Can't keep runnin' away.....Ya can't keep runnin' away....."

During the past year and a half of returning to the island where I grew up, one thing is for certain: I am maturing emotionally, mentally and most notably spiritually. My spirituality has been with me this entire time but I chose to ignore it. It was what I was afraid of facing and kept me runnin' away.

Today, my running shoes are retired and this Spiritual Bandida is taking a well deserved rest.

Keep on keepin' on xox

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